Tag: August

Well how are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

I know I”m allus a’goin on about it. thas the weather I am a’talkin about, when yu allus wark outside thas suffin you ha’a think about all the time but this here weather we are a’havin now, well thas suffin different.
I know I arnt a’goin t’please sum on ya but I recon this here climate change they keep on about is really happening. Them rare hot days we head tuther week are suffin you might git once in a lifetime ,my old weather station got up to 39c, but we hev had hot summers afore, the only difference is that they keep happening more often. Them terrible fires we hed a burnin folks homes down, you hev gotta feel sorry for them all, thas the sort o’thing yu see on the news a’happening abroad, now thas a’happening only two or villages villages away away from us. I am sure sum on yu know sum folk who live in Ashill. I were a talkin tuther day to a Mawther who liv there und she recon that she ha’a evacuate har house. She went und spent the night a har daughters a few mile away und when she cum back next mornin she were so worried about what she would find that har daughter cum with’har. Luckily har house were still standin.
This here drought is havin an affect on the farmers crops und sum on um hev lost crops in the fires. I see that them farmers who hev irrigation systems could be told t’stop usin it cos there aint enough water t’go round. That probably start shortages o’sum vegetables und that’ll put the prices up. Thas the same in the garden, I hant cut my lawn for weeks & a lot of the Missus shrubs are looking very sorry for them selves, I say t’the Missus thas no good we can’t water everything, we hev cut several of the shrubs that are a wilting right back , they could cum back if und when we git sum rain, thas the same with the lawn, that’ll cum back. The old tomatoes in the greenhouse are a doin alright although thas been a job t’keep the heat down in there.

Several farmers hev nearly finished their corn harvest cos the drought und hot weather meant that the crops ripened early und some of the crops are only yielding 50% o’what they normally do.
I see the young master up at the Hall hev had a change o’combine this year, he normally hev a green und white one (Claas) now I see he hev changed to a yellow und black one (New Holland) they all du the same job und cost a lot o’money t’buy.

Since I last hed a wud along with yu the Missus und I hev bin up t’London. We went on a coach t’hev a look at them wild flowers they hev sown in the moat round the Tower of London. We went afore that really hot week . They recon they hev sown sum twenty million seeds. I din’t try und count them but that were worth the visit, They hed made a path through them with places where you could draw into und stop. That took us an hour t’walk right round the moat, arter that we went inta the Tower uf London und hed a walk round with a group that hev one o’them Beefeaters as a guide. The one we hed liked a good laugh with you, mind you he new his stuff und put it over in a humorous way, The coach we went on hed two mawthers in charge , one on um did the driving und the other one kept cummin round t’see if you would like a hot or cold drink. We stopped on the way down there und agin on the way back at that there service place near Stanstead airport. My hart there were a rare crowd o’folk there all a’buyin food und drink. There were a couple a sittin near us on the coach und all they did all the way there und back was eat und when we stopped they were buyin food t’eat afore they got back on the coach. I say t’the Missus if they don’t stop eating like that they’ll be lucky if they see three score years und ten afore they die.
Well them England girls a’playin football are doin well, less hope they can beat the German team in the final. The Canaries start their league games soon, they hev got a long trip to Cardiff t’start orf with, We’ll ha’a see if Mr Smith can git them playin better than last year. They could du well t’lean a lesson or two from the young Lionesses, they don’t keep diving about as if they hev bin fouled und they don’t argue with the Ref und they play some good football.
I’ll tell yu suffin I hev noticed in the last day or two while I hev bin crowding my old bike along, Sum of them big trees are a’startin to drop their leaves!!! Thas a sign that they are a’havin a job t’git enough water t’stay green. I can’t start thinkin about clearing up leaves in the garden yet, I hant emptied me compost bins.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a troshin

Well how are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

Cos thas the school holidays now und sum folk will be a’goin away on holiday, they recon a lot on um are a cummin t’Norfolk instead of a’goin over the water, thas good for them folk who ha’a shut down their holiday business last year. That give them a chance the meake up for lost ground.

I’ll tell yu suffin I hev noticed during the last time of two I hev drawed inta a petrol station t’fill up my old car, there’s nearly allus sum o’the pumps covered up cos they hev run out und are awaiting for sum more to be delivered. They recon thas a happening cos there aren’t enough lorry drivers cos them who drive lorries but come from over the water hev gone home und there hant bin any new drivers comin in from this country cos the HGV tests hev bin stopped cos of Covid. Less hope they get them tests a goin agin cos you can earn a tidy wage as a lorry driver , I see in the peaper yesterday one firm advertising for drivers t’cart farm equipment round this country und over the water , the starting wage is £48 -£51000 a year.

That were different in the early 1960s when I driv a lorry , you din’t even ha’a hev an HGV then.
The fust lorry I driv were and old petrol Bedford a’cartin beet inta Bury Beet Factory from Carleton Rode, (thas in South Norfolk) The old lorry used t’burn 12gallons o’petrol every trip. The petrol tank on the lorry only held 16 gallons so I ha’a fill up arter each trip.
On another farm were I worked we hed a lorry for cartin the corn inta a grain store straight off the combine. The only trouble was I ha’a go through Wroxham on every trip. That used t’teak for ever as they were still using the old bridge with no traffic lights. In the middle o’Wroxham they used t’hev a man a’standin on a white box in the middle o’the cross roads a’directin the traffic, He was dressed in white und I don’t think he were a policeman I seem t’remember that he was employed by Roys.

Well them old farmers made a good start with the corn harvest until them tempests cum along this week. They hev bin a’shown one farmer on the TV who hev hed all his field beans cut t’shreds. Farmers who hant cut their Oil Seed Rape will be a wondering how much they will harvest cos you ha’a wait until the rape seed have ripened in the pod before you harvest it. The only trouble is when the crop dry up that become suffin brittle, They recon if you sneeze near the crop sum o’the oil seed will drop out. The last thing you want are hail stones und high winds. Suffin that used t’happen when the corn crops were nearly ripe was that a nigh wind or heavy rain would meak the crops lodge or go completely flat cos the straw stems weren’t strong enough t’hold up the heavy ears of corn. I remember seeing fields of corn completely flat on the ground as if you hev bin over it with a roller. They used r’recon if you on one side of a field o’flat corn you could see a mouse runnin out the tuther side. That were a job t’harvest them und if that stayed wet the ears o’grain would start to sprout. That don’t happen s’much now cos the straw is a lot shorter und the farmers can used chemicals t’strengthen the stems o’the plant.

Well England din’t come home with the cup in them Euros, still they did well t’git t’the finals. Them old Olympics hev started now, The trouble is cos they are so far away they keep a’showin the same events three or four times during the day. I know they recon thas for folk who turn on their TVs at different times. One thing I git fed up with, und that were the same with the Euros, is them so called experts who ha’a keep a talkin about what they would hev done different, we don’t want t’now that, if their so clever why arn’t they our there a telling them who are takin part what t’do. I keep a’runnin on s’much about them the Missus keep telling me t’hold my row, I know where I git it from, my dear old father were just the same when he was a’watchin cricket or football.

The Missus und I hev a’bin busy in the garden, there were one or two day when that got to hot for us und we ha’a draw back indoors. Thas one good thing about living in an old house with thick wall , that keep cool even when that were suffin hot outside. I’ll tell you suffin we seem t’hev a lot on this year und thas that old bindweed. That seem t’be everywhere this year. We are a’doin our best t’keep on top on it but as soon as you tun round thas comin up somewhere else.

One o’our boy were a doin one of there Ultra 100 mile marathons in the Lake District last week-end, My Brother recon he’s mad , how-sum ever he finished in sum 34 hours, we were able t’see how he was a’doin cos they were all wearing trackers. That mead yu tied just t’watch where he was a’runnin. There were sum six hundred on um started und the winner did it in 19 hours.
Tuther week-end the Mrs Und I went und hed a look round a big garden that were open north o’Feaknum. There were a gret old piece o’grass out the front, folk were a’sittin round having tea und cakes und listening to sum live music bein played by five fellas & a mawther. The Missus recon that were like a garden party. on the other three sides o’the house there were a lot o’little gardens all joined up so you walked outa one inta another one. A’fore we come t’leave we went into one o’the farm buildings where there were a lot o’photos on the wall that hed been taken on the farm nearby. Two on um where showing hosses been used during harvest one on um was o’two hosses pulling a binder und tuther other showed a couple o’hisses pulling a wagon full of shoves. The Missus recon I got more excited about these two photos and about anything I hed seen in the gardens. I told har that these photos were part o’our history.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin

How are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

A’time I am a’writin this (29th July) they recon thas a’goin t’git suffin hot on Friday. Up to 34c they recon. I hev told the Missus that I am a’goin t’stay indoors cos I don’t like the heat. We’r lucky cos our House is an olden with two foot thick solid walls so that stay cool while thas a heatin up outside. Mind you I’ll ha’a make sure that all the plants in the garden are well watered to cope. My tomatoes in the green house are growing well und the tomatoes have just started turnin red so we don’t want them a spoilin so I’ll ha’a meake sure that the doors und windows are open. Another thing I du is to leave a pan o’water on the floor t’try und keep the humidity up. One thing tomato plants don’t like is havin a lot o’water splashed all over them.

Them old combines hev bin a’goin for sum time. I see the young master up at the Hall hev cut his Oil Seed Rape. Them farmers who hev grown Winter Barley are knockin that down & the Winter Wheat won’t be long behind. I see a photograph yesterday showin them cutting wheat near Thetford.

When I am cyclin up the footpath from Caudle Springs to the Main rood I see that they hev grown a rare lot of Broad Beans on the fields neaby. I hev bin keepin an eye on um und they hev bin growin well but during the last couple weeks them beans are been overtaken by suffin thas a growin through them. Thas a weed called Old Fat Hen. I remember my dear old Mother a’talkin about it. She were a Land Army Girl durin the Second World War warkin alongside me Father on the family farm in South Norfolk. She recon she ha’a spend days a’pullin old fat hen outa fields o’Sugar Beet. Du yu know some 14 year arter I were born my Dad were sending me inta a field o’beet t’pull some old fat hen out. I ha’a walk acrors the crop pullin the plant up by the roots und puttin it into a paper fertiliser bag I were carryin. When the fertiliser bag were full I ha’a leave it on the headland to be collected und, as far as I can remember cos thas ni on sixty one year ago, the bags und old fat hen were burnt.
When they come t’cmbine them beans they und the fat hen will be dry so the modern combine harvester they use should be able to separate the beans from the fat hen seed. The last thing any farmer will want to see is fat hen seed in his sample of beans.

Talkin about combine harvesters I read that there are some new ones about now that’ll cut und thresh 100 tonnes an hour. If you hev a combine like that you hev gotta hev sum great old trailers t’git that orf the fields und into the grain stores. When you think when combines fust come about you only ha’a have a little old 3 tonne trailer t’keep that a’goin. Now they hev what they call “Chaser wagons that hold over 20 tonnes. Then you hev got t’hev some gret old barns which will hold several thousand tonnes with some great old doors t’git the corn in and out. still thas progress for yu!

I’ll tell you suffin else I see tuther day when I were a cyclin up the footpath, I see some tyre tracks which mean’t somebody hed bin a’driven a car along there. I followed them until they disappeared near the bridge thas about half way way along the footpath. I din’t think n’more about it until the next day. I see them tyre tracks were still there but near the bridge somebody hed a’bin busy. Where them big warehouses are there are a lot o’cars und vans a’standin about. I recon somebody might hev pinched one und driven it acrorse the field at the back o’the warehouses through the shallow ditch near the bridge und down the footpath to come onta the road at Caudle Springs. Well that ain’t a’goin t’happen agin. They hev dug the ditch out all the way round the field with a gret old machine und hev put a fence up un all.

Well them boys up at Carra Rood are going t’be playin in the Championship next year. For Fathers Day one o’our Boys give me a Nowtv subscription cos he recon I could watch some of the City’s games. Well boy I dint see them win once, I’ll tell yu suffin that hev bin good for watching the Cricket & Motor Racing. How them batsmen hev time t’hit a cricket ball when thas a’cumin at them at 90 mph from 22yard away I never now. When I were a’playin cricket, ni on 60 year ago, I remember batting against a fast bowler who were slingin the ball down at 40 mph und I thought that were plenty fast enough.

Thas time I stopped writing und got out into the garden und do a bit o’waterin t’give the plants a chance agin these high temperatures that are a’comin.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin.

Well how are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

Well that were over suffin quick. Thas the old corn harvest I am a’talkin about. Sum on um on the rearly light land recon they hev never finished harvest by the end of July afor. Around the village I see the Young Master up at the Hall hev cut his Winter Barley und Oil Seed Rape but they hant started cuttin the Winter Wheat yet (July 31st) .

We hev hed rum rain at last. I’m suffin pleased thet hev rained cos that mean my old water butts are full agin. As I hev said afor the Missus like t’use rain water on har indoor plants rather than tap water, so that rain hev put har in better fettle.

A lot o’folk are a talkin about the dry summer we hed in 1976 that were dry like this but I don’t think that were qiute sar hot? Do yu now last week my old weather station recon that were 36c down at the bottom o’my garden. That hev bin s’hot that I ha’a start wearing short trousers. I din’t like a’doin on it cos the Missus recon I could’t wear my old braces with um. So I drawed my old belt in suffin tight und allus hed a bit o’string in me pocket just in case.

If I hed any jobs t’du in the garden I meade sure I got them done early afore that old sun got a’goin. I hev bin a’waterin plants in containers but there were a lot o’shrubs planted in the garden that were a’hanging their heads. As I said to the Missus yu can’t start a’waterin them cos they’ll git to expect it und stop a’puttin their old roots down inta the earth t’git their own water.

Still we han’t had it as bad as folk in other parts o’the world that hev lost everything in the bush fires. I know there hev bin sum stubble fires here where farmers hev lost some standin corn and in one or two cases t’combine un all. That int as bad as 1976 cos farmers were allowed to burn the straw in the fields then rather than bale it up. That hev all changed how cos straw is sold for animal bedding und some go to be used as fuel for power stations. I know these one o’them just over the border at Eye in Suffolk. I recon amimal feed is a’goin t’be expensive this winter cos farmers are a’havin t/feed their animals on their winter feed already cos there aint any grass.

At the beginin of the month the Missus un I hed our annual day trip on the Broads with our Daughter und Son-in-Law. We hed a good day, that wernt to hot und we went from Horning t’Wroxham und then up t’Coltishall. That were a lot quieter that way cos a lot o’them big boats can’t git under Wroxham bridge. Our Daughter und Son-in-Law brought their doog wi’them this year. He’s one of these Labra-dootles. My Heart he’s suffin big und only about a year old. As well as us He ha’a wear a life jacket. Once he settled down he sat und watched the world go by. I’ll tell yu suffin though he nearly hed a set too with a Swan. Yu know how they swim up to the boat t’see if yu hev got any bread for them. Well the dorg wernt a’hevin any o’that. He stuck his head outa the boat und barked in the old swan’s face. Well bor I thought the old swan was a’goin t’cum inta the boat… he started hissin und rufflin his old feathers. In the end the dog backed down und we give the old Swan a few biscuits.

When we got back t’where we hired the boat there were another one a’tying up afore us. We head them a’tellin the boat owner that they han’t bin able t’stop all day cos they could’t git the boat near enough to the bank t’tie up. Thas a good job their boat hed a toilet du they might hev bin in a muddle.

I see there hev bin another British winner of that cycle race in France. I recon the French are a’gettin a bit fed up w’us a goin over there cos I think somebody from this country hev won the last six or seven years. Still that could all change soon with BREXIT!!

I notice that them cyclists wear suffin tight riding clothes. I say t’the Missus do yu recon I could crowd my old bike along as quick as they du if dressed up like that….she din’t say anything…….she just gimi one o’har looks.

The old Football season kick orf soon. I see Noorwich hev sold sum o’their players for a tidy sum und bought sum new ones. I am a’goin the see the fust home game. My Son-in-Law is a’takin me cos he support the team Noorwich are a’playin. I told him I wern’t a’goin t’sit with his supporters so we are a’sittin in the same stand as them but with the Noorwich supporters.

They hev bin a’grittin some o’the roads in the village. But they han’t dun them all .They seem t’do a bit und then miss a bit out und then start a’gin. They hev done the middle of the village, up the Shipdham Road und along Broadmoor. Then they missed the rest of the village out und started a’gin down the Ovington Road. They ha’a move their equipment from one place t’the next so why could’t they just grit it as well? I suppose if I asked them up a County Hall there would be somebody who would gi’me an answer. Cos wether I would understand what they were a’talkin about is another matter!!!

Fare ye well t’gither ind du yu keep a’troshin.

How are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

Well that old corn harvest seem to be a stop start one at the moment (last week July). Still them old farmers still hev a bit o’time for sum dry weather. What they don’t want t’du is t’hev t’turn the old corn dryer on that’ll cost money cos them old dryers burn a’lot of fuel when they get goin.

Since I last hed a’wud along with yu I hev bin t’one of them music festivals . No I dint go t’ Glastonbury though I did meet the farmer who run it a few year ago at a agricultural show. I went t’one in Suffolk at Jimmy’s Farm near Ipswich. Them Rare Breed Survival Trust folk had bin invited t’hev a stand ther cos Jimmys the RBST President. As well as havin a stand there they were having a competition to see who could produce the best sausage mead w’rare breed meat. Du yu know they hed 38 different sausages sent in from all over the country t’cook und taste. I wunt a’doin the tastin, they wanted me t’teake a few photographs that they could put on their web site und inta their magazine.

When I got t’Jimmys Farm the fust thing I see near the car part were several acres o’tents that folk were a’stayin in for the week-end. There were also several caravans there und all.

A’fore they started a’tastin the sausages I hed a look round. There a lot o’different Rare Breed animals for folk t’hev a look at, there were a circus that were a’puttin on several performances on the Saturday und Sunday. Then there this gret old stage that hed bin put t’gether for the music festival. In front o’this were an acre or two o’grass where folk could sit und listen to the music. Round this area there a rum lot o’food stalls e’sellin things I hed never heard on a’for; Was Pulled Pork when thas at home? I recon if I asked the Missus for that she’d gi me one o’har funny looks!!

I see Jimmy but he were suffin busy a’doin interviews with the BBC t’try und get more folk t’come through the gate. That were suffin leart when they got a’goin with the sausage tastin. There were 4 on um a’doin it. Arter about a couple o’hours they cum to a verdict about who the winners were. I were to busy a’teakin photos t’get a bite of any on um so afore I cum away I hed t’git suffin t’eat . When I went back t’the food stalls Chas und Dave were a playin und I hed suffin to eat I understood… Fish und Chips.

I’ll tell yu suffin else. When I cum home from Jimmys I found I were still a wearin one o’them wrist bands from the RBST. That say on it “I’m a Rare Breed” The Missus told me t’keep it on. I recon thas cos if she ever lose me she can tell folk t’look for an old fool a’warin a “green Rare Breed” wrist band.

Afore I got down t’writin this I see on the local TV programme a bit about sheep dog trials bein held nearby. Several years ago I helped w’one or two o’them that were organised by the Shepherd who used t’look arter the sheep on the Holkham Park. My job were t’let the sheep outa the pen afore the dog started it’s run. There used t’be several local shepherds a’takin part and they were good. Thinkin about the shepherd at Holkham reminded me o’the time I went t’see him und he took me t’see his dogs. He used t’train them for other folk und allus hed about 10 dogs tied up in an old cow shed near where he lived. When we got in there he told me not t’git to close t’one dog cos that were a bit savige und would bite. He got a talkin und I forgot what he said und stepped to close t’this here dog. Well bor that fanged hold o’my leg. Once he hed got the dog orf me I hed a look und he hed drawn blood on m’leg wi’his teeth. The Shepherd was only interested in where I got me’trousers from cos the dog hadant torn them when he hed fanged hold o’me.

Well the start o’the old football season is only just round the corner now. Norridge hev got the Fulham boys on the fust Saturday. They hant done to well against them in the past but perhaps this here new German coach will be able t’du suffin about that?

I’m goin t’suggest to the Missus that we teake our old caravan t’Jimmys Festival next year. for the week-end………… I’ll let yu know what har reply is.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin.

Well how are yu all a gettin on t’gether.

I recon a’time yu are a’readin this them old combines will be a’goin….that is if old Mother Nature du har part und we get sum hot sunny weather. A’time I am a’writin this (second week July) thas still suffin humid with sum rain most days. With the wheat und barley a runnin inta ear the rain’ll swell the grain but there ha gotta be sum sun t’get the crop t’dry out und turn t’straw.

Last time I hed a wud along w’yu I said how I wud tell you what happened at the Norfolk Show. Well I did wear a tie und we did hev a visit from His Royal Highness on the Rare Breed Stand. Our head lady asked me if could teake sum photos of HRH a visiting our stand. She had had a word with the Palace und they recon that ud be alright as long as I were “discreet” cos there would be “official” photographers with him.

Well on the fust day o’the show along cum Prince Charles und got introduced t’our head lady. I were busy keeping back und teakin photos. Arter about a couple o’minutes a smart young lady grabbed hold o’my arm. She recon she were from HRH’s press office und could I tell har what peaper I were a warkin for. I told har I were teakin photos for the RBST. She recon she could help me und told me t’follow har…. she started pushin through the crowd of folk round the Prince. She took me right t’the front und got me t’stand w’all them “official” photographers, she put me next t’that fella from the Sun peaper(Arthur Edwards) he recon he hed bin following the Royal Family round since 1977. When HRH moved all them photographers moved un all…so I went with um. I were s’busy a’lookin at their equipment that I nearly forgot t’teake any pictures m’self. Still I recon that if I wanted any more I could ask Arthur for one or two.

I hev hed a job a’ridin my old bike along the footpath t’the Norridge road leatly cos the thistles und nettles are a’meetin acroos the path. Sum folk from the estates on the old airfield are still a’tryin t’git along there with their children t’teake them t’the village school. I were told ( a month ago) that the council were a’cummin durin the next 2 weeks t’trim the path out. They han’t tunned up yet, I’ll let yu now when they du.

Did any on yar watch the football from France. We din’t ha’a wait long for England t’get the plane home. I recon they could learn a thing or two about team wark from the Welsh und Irish boys. That were good t’see the 2 boys from Norridge City duin well though that’ll mean other clubs might want t’meake a bid for um.

That old European election din’t turn out how them up at Whitehall wanted. They recon that were us olduns who wanted out while the youngsters voted t’stay in. I recon thas cos us olduns can remember what that were like afor we joined and don’t like them in Brussels a’tellin us how t’run our lives. Now the two main political parties can’t decide who they want in charge. Thas sorta as if the country hev stopped goin forrud und hev parked up while them up in London git sorted out und put the country inta gear agin. They hed better get a goin soon cos “If yu stand still, thas likely yu’ll git run over”.

The good thing about the rain is that my old water butts are full. I hed a recon up tuther day und I hev got nigh on 1000L stored up. That should keep the Missus a goin as she like usin soft water for har indoor plants.

Well as thas fine at the moment I am a’goin t’teake my old hoe for a walk round the garden.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep o’troshin.

I recon when yu are a readin this them old combines will be a’goin. I hev seen one a’goin already (2nd week July) but that were cuttin sum oil seed rape. When thas ready they’ll be a gettin inta the winter barley and arter that the wheat. I hev been asked how farmers know when the corn is ready t’cut. Fustly that ha’a changed colour from green to gold/yella all the way t’the ground, then yu should be able t’rub the grains outa the head by hand und check that the grain is hard by a biting it with yar teeth. Yu ha’a be suffin careful a doin this cos yu can break a tooth; I did several year ago. Afor the combine go the farmers test that the moisture level hev dropped down to 16% or lower, any higher than this und they ha’a start the crop old drier up und that’ll cost money.

Years ago yu could tell when barley were gettin fit cos when the grains in the head became hard und dry the weight would bend the grain head over und this action would cause the neck to break or crack. On a still warm day yu could stand a’side a field o’barley und hear the necks o’barley a crackin over.

There hev bin a’lot in the pearper und on the TV leatly about parents bein fined for takin their younguns outa school durin term time. I were a talkin to my Brother about that tuther day und we recon that would a’cost our Father a lot o’money hed that rule been in when we were at school. Cos we always hed a family holiday afor harvest started we recon that we hardly ever attended the last week o’the summer term. Another thing our Father said was “allus to go away when yu on holiday cos if yun don’t they’ll cum arter yu for suffin”. Once years leater when I were a Farm Foreman I started my holiday on the Saturday morning but did not go away. About 11 o’clock on the Saturday night the Boss rung up sayin there were a cow a calvin with twins und could I go und help the vet get um out. Acoos I went und helped.At about 2am on the Sunday morning while I were still a’helpin I remembered what my Father hed said.

I hev been a watchin the World Cup football. I got suffin savage when I saw then players a rolling about pretendin their hurt. I say t’the Missus “ they want t’be kicked by an old Highland Cow, that’ll meake um roll about a’bit”. The trouble is the younguns see um a’doin that und copy um when they play.

The Missus und I hev bin to the Hampton Court Flower Show. We hed bin a thingkin about a goin to the Chelsea Flower Show but the Missus recon,if we went, she’d see if she could leave me there with them old Chelsea Pensioners.
We hed a good look round at the Hampton Court Show. My hart they must’a spent a rare lot o’time a gettin them gardens & plants ready. I hed a good look but I could unt see a weed any where. They were showing a master crop of vegetables on one o’the outside plots which hant bin attacked by pigeons or slugs.
We din’t buy anything cos if we did the Missus would ha wanted t’buy one o’them little barra things to cart the plants around in all day: the only colour they did um in were pink
Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin.

Since I last hed a wud along with ya the Missus und I ha bin over the water agin with our caravan. Arter last year’s adventure we decided t’drive all the way down t’the bottom of France. As the Missus said “we hev gotta do it while we can”. That were a long way, but we drawed along und hed a couple of stops on the way. That got suffin hot (38c). I ha’a teak me vest orf. The Missus said she din’t mind that but she din’t want me a’teakin me braces orf in case m’belt brook und me trousers fell down. I told her not t’worry cos if me belt brook I’d got a bit o’binder twine in m’pocket that I could use t’hold um up. She din’t say anything……… she just g’me one of har looks.

On the way we stopped t’hev a look around the Rhone Valley, the farmers there busy hay making. I told yer last year about the steep slopes we see the farmers were a’warkin. Well the slopes they were a drivin tractors on this year made last years slopes seem flat. We driv past a field where they hed baled the hay inta round bales, these were all a’layin along the bottom of the field. I say the Missus, I recon they rolled down there when they cum out o’the back o’the baler.

Cos there are still a’lot o’small farms in France, what my father would call ha “little doers”. I wunce asked him why he called um little doers. “Weer” he say, “ they only keep 4 hins a Goat und a Cow. I think the small French Farms ha more stock than that on um. They can keep a’goin cos the French Government look arter um. Thas cos cum an election their 22% o’the votes. At hum our farmers count for 0.2% of the votes at an election. I don’t think I need t’say any more.

Down the bottom o’France there’s this bit of land called the Camarge. Thas flat like the fens but thas the size o’the hol o’Norfolk. The farmers grow rice und keep these black cattle and white hosses. everywhere we druv yu could see the white hosses saddled up ready for folks t’ride, we din’t see anybody a ridin any on um, I think thas because that were s’hot. We stopped so I could hev a look at a field o’rice, that looked like a field of wheat only that were a lot shorter. Sum of it looked fit t’cut but I dint see any combines a goin.

Arter the Camarge we driv along until we were nearly inta Spain. We were a’drivin , with out the caravan, through sum narra roads that hed bin cut out o’the rock. Yu hed t’be careful cos great old lorries were a usin the same roods, we did ha’a back up once t’let one through. When we got home blow me if we din’t see them Tour o’France cyclists a’goin along sum o’the same roods we hed driv along. I say t’the Missus, “that’d bin a job if we’d a met them while we were there, they’d ha’a stop t’let us through”

There’s plenty t’du now we’r home. I could nearly get a crop o’hay orf the lawns. Our Girl and har man ha’bin lookin arter the plants & stock while we ha bin away. Afor we went I set sum eggs down under a broody bantam. I warked out that they should hatch orf just afor we got home. That were spot on cos they hatched 2 days afor we cum home.

That don’t look as if the harvest will be a startin early this year, still as m’father used t’say “there’ll allus be a seed time und harvest”. As I said afor, he wuss allus right.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a troshin.

I told yar that would happen, all the rain we have bin a havin mean they recon we can use hose pipes agin, old mother nature nearly allus put things right, the trouble is that don’t allus fit in wi what you want t‘du on the land. That’ll make them old beet grow but that aint any good if yu want t’be a meakin hay.

The Missus and I have bin over the water a’gin with our caravan. We went a rare long way this time, that took us 3 days t’get there, we drawd along travelling more than a few miles a day, I ha’a du the drivin cos the Missus dont like a drivin with the old caravan yoked up behind, that don’t worry me cos I ha bin towing trailers about for ni on fifty five years. The only thing yu ha’a get used to is drivin on the wrong side o’the rud, on the main roads thas alright but on the side roads where there arnt no markins yu can make a mistake, I did once this time over there until the Missus hollered at me t’get on t’the tuther side. While I am a’drivin the Missus du the map readin, we ha got one o’them sat.nav. things but I tun that orf cos thas bad enough a’havin one woman a’tellin yu what t’du, I dont want two on um a tellin me what t’du while I’m a drivin.
That were suffin hot while we were over there, up to 35C, thas about 100F for those on yar who hant converted yet. The farmers were busy a meakin hay, they use the same sorta kit as yu see on farms over here, but sum o’the fields they were a workin in I would have a’job t’walk up cos they were so steep but they were a drivin their tractors about as if the fields were flat. They recon there were a lot o’sheep where we were but I never see none of’um, I recon they must keep them inside.
At one o’the places we stopped for few days there were Vultures a nestin nearby, the locals told us they only fed on dead meat but t’be on the safe side I told the Missus if she were a sittin outside the caravan not t’go t’sleep.
We went and had a look at a garden where there were over 150,000 boxwood shapes, there were only four gardeners who ha’a cut all on um a couple’o’times a year and they were a’doin on it w’hand shears cos they recon if they used electric ones that bruise the leaves, my hart they had a job on, I see um a cuttin a hedge, they were doin it properly by using a bit o’binder twine to keep the top level.

While we were over there I did see one combine a’goin, but I recon old mother nature will hatta change her tune a’for the corn will be fit t’cut here any time soon. Still that were fine for the Norfolk Show and the Village Fete, they recon both events were well supported. I hear there’s a new man in charge o’our Millennium Green and he is a gettin folks t’gether t’tricolate the place up a bit.

Mr Lambert ha gone from Carra Rud, we’ll ha’a see how the new man get, he seem to ha worked well with teams that hev birds as mascots, Magpies (Newcastle), less hope he can get on with Canaries. Afor they start a playin agin we ha got the Olympics in London, that’ll be a job a gettin about up there, I know sum folks ha got tickets t’go, good luck to um, I wont want t’go, I recon the best place t’see what happening will be on the TV.

Now I’m back from over the water there’s plenty t’du in the garden. The rain ha made everything grow, that include the weeds, my old Dad used t’say you ha’a keep the old hoe a goin so thas what I’ll be a doin and the old hedges want a trimmin back now the birds ha finished nestin, so these plenty t’keep me in the garden and out’a the house, all I want is a bit o’help from mother nature.
Fare ye well t’gether and du yu keep a’troshin.

A time you read this they should be a gettin near t’ the end o’harvest. I an’t a goin t’say any thing about this year’s harvest cos the young master from the Hall will b’a writin about that.

I ha bin a thinkin about the fust harvest I did ,that were about fifty five year ago, m’father wont ha me a warkin a’long a him so I got a harvest job with a little farmer up the road. Mother din’t mind me a goin there cos he were a ‘chapel’ man so I wont hear any swear wuds.
Although combines were a getitin about this farmer still used a binder. arter that started cutting a field you ha’a walk round a’pickin up the sheaves & shock um up. thas a standin the sheaves on their butt ends and little way apart and leanin the head ends agin each other so that looked like the letta V bottom way up. you put four pairs of sheaves t’gether so that looked like a tent with both ends open. that were so the wind could blow though & help dry the straw. Barley was the worst to shock up cause them old barley awns got every where and I mean every where, my hart that made you suffin scratch. When I got home at night arter shocking up barley I ha’a wash all over t’get rid on um, there wern’t no showerin in them days and the old tin bath only cum out on a Saturday night arter father had filled the copper w’water from the well & lit the fire underneath t’heat it.

Arter the barley ,oats & wheat had bin cut & shocked up the ha’a stand in the field t ripen, they recon they (the Sheaves) ha’a hear the chuch bells twice afor you could think about a cartin them t’the stack, cos if that rained they ha’a stay in the field until they dried out.
When we started a’cartin the sheaves t’the stack the farmer I were a warkin for had two harvest wagons, one were pulled by a little Allis Charmers tractor & the other by a hos, there were another boy a warkin there who were a year older than me so he driv the tractor & I got the hos. My job was to lead the hos twix the rows of shocks so the men could load the sheaves on t’the wagon, arter they had cleared the shocks each side o’the wagon and a’for I started leadin the old hos forad I ha’a shout ‘hold-gee’ that so the man on the load knew I were about t’move on, arter m’ fust day a doin that m’mother recon I kept a shoutin out hold-gee in m’sleep. When the wagon was full I ha’a lead the hos t’the stack and unload the wagon either direct on’t the stack or when that got higher on’t the elevator. You ha’a put the sheaf onta the elevator the right way round and at the right speed du the man on the stack who were a’feedin the man buildin the stack would soon start a’shoutin at yer.

Harvests ha cum a long way since then, In the 1980’s I were lucky enough to drive one o’the fust combines what cum inta the country that were fitted with a computa and were connected t’one of them saterlite things what whiss around in the sky. Harvest is a lot easier than that were fifty five year ago. Some folks say harvest ent like the good old days & we ort’a bring um back. Them folks what say that ha never had’t shock up barley all day or ha’a carry 18 stone (112kg) sacks o’wheat on their back.

I ha got t’go now cos the Missus asked me a’while ago t’get some spuds & carrots out’a the garden so she could cook um for dinner, If I don’t start a scrappin about thas likely I won’t get any dinner t’day.

Fare ye well t’gether & du you keep a’throshin.