I recon when yu are a readin this them old combines will be a’goin. I hev seen one a’goin already (2nd week July) but that were cuttin sum oil seed rape. When thas ready they’ll be a gettin inta the winter barley and arter that the wheat. I hev been asked how farmers know when the corn is ready t’cut. Fustly that ha’a changed colour from green to gold/yella all the way t’the ground, then yu should be able t’rub the grains outa the head by hand und check that the grain is hard by a biting it with yar teeth. Yu ha’a be suffin careful a doin this cos yu can break a tooth; I did several year ago. Afor the combine go the farmers test that the moisture level hev dropped down to 16% or lower, any higher than this und they ha’a start the crop old drier up und that’ll cost money.
Years ago yu could tell when barley were gettin fit cos when the grains in the head became hard und dry the weight would bend the grain head over und this action would cause the neck to break or crack. On a still warm day yu could stand a’side a field o’barley und hear the necks o’barley a crackin over.
There hev bin a’lot in the pearper und on the TV leatly about parents bein fined for takin their younguns outa school durin term time. I were a talkin to my Brother about that tuther day und we recon that would a’cost our Father a lot o’money hed that rule been in when we were at school. Cos we always hed a family holiday afor harvest started we recon that we hardly ever attended the last week o’the summer term. Another thing our Father said was “allus to go away when yu on holiday cos if yun don’t they’ll cum arter yu for suffin”. Once years leater when I were a Farm Foreman I started my holiday on the Saturday morning but did not go away. About 11 o’clock on the Saturday night the Boss rung up sayin there were a cow a calvin with twins und could I go und help the vet get um out. Acoos I went und helped.At about 2am on the Sunday morning while I were still a’helpin I remembered what my Father hed said.
I hev been a watchin the World Cup football. I got suffin savage when I saw then players a rolling about pretendin their hurt. I say t’the Missus “ they want t’be kicked by an old Highland Cow, that’ll meake um roll about a’bit”. The trouble is the younguns see um a’doin that und copy um when they play.
The Missus und I hev bin to the Hampton Court Flower Show. We hed bin a thingkin about a goin to the Chelsea Flower Show but the Missus recon,if we went, she’d see if she could leave me there with them old Chelsea Pensioners.
We hed a good look round at the Hampton Court Show. My hart they must’a spent a rare lot o’time a gettin them gardens & plants ready. I hed a good look but I could unt see a weed any where. They were showing a master crop of vegetables on one o’the outside plots which hant bin attacked by pigeons or slugs.
We din’t buy anything cos if we did the Missus would ha wanted t’buy one o’them little barra things to cart the plants around in all day: the only colour they did um in were pink
Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin.